I honestly hope this is the last time I ever talk about this.
Having been an active member of the Power Rangers fandom for well over, I dunno, [checks watch] ten years, there’s one thing the fans want: A reboot Power Rangers movie. And they won’t shut up about it.
Hell, someone even made this! Holy shit!
But let’s be real.
It’s unbelievable for me, the world’s biggest Power Rangers dork, to admit this, but a Michael Bay-directed, big-budget, action-adventure summer blockbuster of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers starring Ryan Reynolds and sponsored by Verizon© is never, ever going to happen. Sad, but true.
I could write a whole thesis paper on the subject matter, but it boils down to this: Saban Brands wants to revitalize the franchise, and they shouldn’t rehash it. Meaning there’s a better chance of Power Rangers Samurai: The Movie happening than a movie of Mighty Morphin. Besides, a big-budget Power Rangers movie is a disaster waiting to happen; the show juggles fantasy, martial arts, giant robots, intergalactic wizards, and 90’s teenage drama all on a Saturday-morning-served platter begging you to buy the toys to stimulate the economy.
No one has ever taken the Power Rangers seriously, and a “dark” or reboot will be laughed at even harder.
But It Happened To Batman!
You know what the difference is between Batman and the Power Rangers? The Power Rangers isn’t Batman.
I reiterate: I’m one of the biggest Power Rangers fans you will ever meet. And I’m telling you right now, Power Rangers is nothing more than a fad from over two decades ago that may never, if ever, see that kind of popularity again. So everyone, please. Stop asking for a god damn Power Rangers movie.
But with all of that said, I’d still be lying if I haven’t thought of a Power Rangers movie. Despite my cynicism, which has been hardened by years of intense debate and the general harshness of reality, a movie has been nothing more than a wish among the stars. But let’s say those stars do align and shit does happen. What would the tone of the movie be? How would it tell the story of the Rangers? Who would be the villains? Most importantly, who would star in it? It’s probably the most-talked about aspects of a not-at-all-possible Power Rangers movie amongst fans, and honestly, it’s fun thinking of some Hollywood darling pose with a Power Morpher.
I’ve recruited six incredibly hot 20-somethings with attitude. They are the best choices, in my opinion, for a Power Rangers flick if one were to be produced right now. And when I’m done, let’s stop talking about this. Cool?
The Ranger pictures are from fan and awesome photoshop artist Shogun86. Go check out his stuff on his DeviantArt page.
Donald Glover as Zack Taylor, the Black Ranger. A true renaissance man in entertainment today. I’ve gone in some length about how much I admire Donald already, but I recently started watching Community and I can’t shake it: He would be the perfect Zack. Shit, he IS Zack! He’s got the same charm and swag that Walter Jones had, and there is no one else that could be a better fit for the character.
Lynsdy Fonseca as Kimberly Hart, the Pink Ranger. Hey, it’s Ted’s daughter! And she’s all grown up! Hot. Currently on Nikita, Lyndsy really stood out to me in Kick-Ass as the, uh, hot chick. She’s rather versatile as an actress too, having played a valley girl-type airhead in Hot Tub Time Machine. Her fight scenes leave some to be desired on Nikita, but she’s got some pretty decent acting chops and a hot bod to boot. It’s a wonder why she was only #89 on the Maxim Hot 100 list last year. She’s a 10, baby!
(I totally understand if you’ve stopped reading at this point.)
Let her train with Koichi (more on him in a bit) and she’ll be just fine.
Andrew Garfield as Billy Cranston, the Blue Ranger. I’m going to be honest, this one is probably a left-field choice. If it weren’t for his ability to rock a pair of glasses due to his role as Peter Parker in the upcoming Spider-Man reboot, I probably wouldn’t have chosen him. Although he’s probably one of the best actors out of everyone on this list, I’m afraid he might be too much of a big name in this ensemble cast. I have no doubt he could play the perfect Billy, but logistically speaking it might be far-fetched. Still, he’s got the look and the acting chops to boot. Why the hell not?
Fun fact: “Billy Cranston” was named after Bryan Cranston. Yes, THAT Bryan Cranston. Prior to Breaking Bad, he did voice work for some of the monsters-of-the-week in the original Mighty Morphin series.
Brenda Song as Trini Kwan, the Yellow Ranger. Wow, two people from The Social Network. This didn’t occur to me until just now, swear to God. It was actually awkward seeing her in that movie, hooking up with …holy shit, Andrew Garfield! God damn! This is perfect!
Brenda starred in Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior during her Disney Channel years, so to say she’s a great fit for Power Rangers is stating the obvious. That movie, by the way, was choreographed by the great Koichi Sakamoto, long-time director/fight choreographer for Power Rangers. It all comes full circle.
As for Brenda, she’s still fairly young too, clocking in at 24. We’ve got a few years! Skip to 9:40.
Jon Foo as Jason Lee Scott, the Red Ranger. Man, what can I say about this guy? Can I just show you Tekken and be done with it? Jon Foo impressed me as the broadsword-wielding anonymous baddie from The Protector, and he further kicked my geeky heart right in the… uh, heart, when he played Ryu in the fanfilm Street Fighter: Legacy. He’s got the look of a Hollywood hottie and the martial arts skills to boot. Although Taylor Lautner might be the more bankable name, I’ll rally behind Jon Foo since he’s shown off his martial arts a little more than ol’ Jacob has.
Seriously, Hollywood? Hire this motherfucker.
Stephen Lunsford as Tommy Oliver, the Green Ranger. His resume is pretty colorful, ranging from Bratz to Private Practice to the new Teen Wolf. This wouldn’t be the first time Lunsford wielded a henshin device either, having played one of my favorite superheroes in the American adaptation of Kamen Rider Ryuki, Kamen Rider Dragon Knight. I also got to know Lunsford as a laid-back cat at the second Power MorphiCon. Despite the mixed response to Dragon Knight, I’m still partial to the people who worked on it and, just me personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing Lunsford morph into a Power Ranger. At least just once.
So there you have it, the cast of a Power Rangers movie if I were at the helm.
Now everyone shut the fuck up.